I woke up at 5am this morning wondering why I get so drunk and do such stupid things? Last night was a total diaster for me and I don’t ever want a repeat of it. The afternoon was lovely and I had so much fun but I reached this point in the evening when I had just had too much and I should have left. I never want to be like that again. I feel so different about myself this morning and just feel ashamed. I want things to be different and I am going to work hard to change things.